Tag: Bipolar Disorder

It Takes me Under Fast…

Some part of me is losing control. The balance is off so badly that I don’t know what to feel. I feel insecurity. I feel distant. I feel messy. I feel chaotic. Why? This is so out of left field, it’s so frustrating! I know bipolar is not curable. I know I have to learn

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The Emotionally Charged

There is a point in time when I realized being bipolar is also another way of saying I am emotionally charged. What is Emotionally charged to me? Basically, I feel the ups and the downs of life. Everyday we all face stuff, and I often allow the stuff to change my demeanor, my attitude, and

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Becoming my own Best Friend!

I found this quote on Facebook and felt that it was worthy of sharing. Learn to be your own best friend, because there’s going to be days when no-one is going to be there for you but yourself!!! Though I made it through the worst of my most recent storm, I still have to remember

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I’m Thankful for…

Today is a holiday I used to believe to be a waste of time. I used to say selfish things like: What do I have to be thankful for living with bipolar disorder? Or Should I be thankful I didn’t commit suicide this year? It used to be an unhealthy day for me, one where

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Been Dealing with My Sh*t ….

I took a pause from blogging to handle some of my own shit. I was blogging, but I didn’t post them. I have such an intense collection of unposted blogs that I might start selling them. The reason for this is because if you really want to understand living with bipolar disorder, unmedicated, I write

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Powerful Truth This Morning: Comparisons & Self Judgements

I wrote a blog feeling hopeless the other day. I had just gotten home, my energy was low from the long travels and I felt overwhelmed because I was putting expectations on myself. This was a huge MISTAKE! I went to Bali to find myself, and find myself was exactly what I did. Sometimes I

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My Real Life …. Huge Joke

I’m home. I missed being home because of the familiar faces and my children. But I am miserable. I don’t know why, I can’t explain it, I wish I could understand how I am capable of being my truest self in Bali, then coming home and forgetting who I am. I was so Happy and

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How Did I Get Lost?

This meditation today scared me. I usually always remember what happens when I meditate but today, I lost track of it. I feel like I have left my body and saw something I wasn’t meant to see and now I am not allowed to recall it. It’s puzzling me. I went super deep, I remember

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Have Faith in the Bigger Plan

Sometimes I find myself getting so caught up in the details. At home, I work myself up when things don’t go at least somewhat as they should or how I envisioned in my mind. This is because I set an expectation. The root of all negative things for me stems from freaking expectations! Today, I

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F*ck … The War is Coming

Inner child therapy is fucking hard. It hurts a lot. It makes me see the pain much deeper than I thought was possible. I just realized today that my 15 year old self is a narcissistic, brat, who got traumatized so much she doesn’t know the difference between pleasure and pain. She has been in

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