Becoming my own Best Friend!

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I found this quote on Facebook and felt that it was worthy of sharing.

Learn to be your own best friend, because there’s going to be days when no-one is going to be there for you but yourself!!!

Though I made it through the worst of my most recent storm, I still have to remember to care for myself wholeheartedly because bipolar disorder doesn’t have a known cure. One of the main reasons I lose my balance in life is because I constantly become dependent on people to be there or create my happiness, thinking I know them well enough to trust they will. When they leave for any reason, I find myself shocked and disappointed and blaming myself for the whole situation.

The abuse of blaming one’s self for someone else’s poor choices is a form of self abuse that I am starting to realize is within my own control to begin healing. I never would have been abusing myself had I realized I was taking responsibility for someone else’s feelings. Their feelings may be in correlation to my actions, but it if I can’t see their side of a situation, I am better off walking away.

Truly, and sincerely, this quotes advice is one I myself need to work on being better at. Self care is my top priority these days because a lot of people have come and gone in my life over the years. Some departures were for the best, some for reasons beyond my control, and even some that were my own doing. I have had to remind myself that people leaving isn’t part of the bipolar thing, that’s part of a flaw in social skills and coping skills. It may even be a consequence of realizing that you don’t mesh with everyone.

Finding love for myself these past few months has taught me that I am worthy of being loved in a healthy way, but also it has reminded me of how to keep my needs for the right type of love I believe I deserve in my view at all times. I also remind myself on the lonely days that something great is coming and I need to be patient while it makes its way to me. I usually try to rush things in hopes that my misguided hopeless romantic side will be trustworthy. Clearly that hasn’t ever worked for me.

There is no rush on great things, especially because what isn’t meant for me is not for me to keep, and I’m just trying to be okay with the timing happening without my controlling it anymore.

I learned the life lesson that life is messy for everyone, and even thought it appears messier with bipolar, truthfully, I have many friends and family members who do not have bipolar but go through similar stuff and struggle to figure it out.

Bipolar disorder is just a condition of the lack of control over our thinking processes, intense empathy for others and little for ourselves, and the ability to be kicked down emotionally with very little force. The funny thing is, you can change all of these inconvenient traits of bipolar if you want to (and I am seeing that now in my own life), and you can learn to love and value yourself enough to not “need” anyone to make it better.

Bipolar disorder doesn’t mean I am mentally unhealthy. Furthermore, I don’t have to follow the old patterns I think might work better this time (which is the exact definition of insanity), but rather I can try a new way and go against my knee jerk response. Being bipolar is one piece of the total puzzle, because if you find a way to be brave and to be courageous in solving your own issues before saddling someone else with them, no one will ever think you have bipolar.

So if you love to paint, sing, make ice cream, bake cookies, create crafts, or whatever you love to do, do it and take note on how you are able to be there for yourself. This is called being your own best friend…

And it’s a beautiful thing!

Have a blessed day friends.

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